Who knew?

When I wrote my post about unhealthy grown man/child girl relationships, I mentioned Miley Cyrus. Then the post showed up in a Miley Cyrus tweet.

When George Orwell wrote about Big Brother, did he know it would be a chinless pop star who has an unhealthy relationship with her father? (And, dude, cut the hair already.)

And this makes me feel good

Just because my last post was such a pissy, bad mood post, and I certainly don’t want to spread that around, I offer this classic.

These things make me nauseous

1. Job searching. As in, career searching. As in, if this economy got any worse I would be going back to school, and that makes me even more nauseous.

2. Tom Cruise. Have you seen he has a new movie coming out? And his love interest is Cameron Diaz? Isn’t he as tall as her knees? I honestly cannot watch a movie with this man in it. I have never seen Top Gun, and never will because he makes me feel the need to keep a trash can close by.

3. Sarah Palin. Her books. Her voice. Her political mishaps. Her hair. Her glasses. The names of her children. Her husband. Her suits. Her essence of being is actually enough for me to feel the need to upchuck. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin is okay, though.

4. Working with really tiny increments. Once upon a time I was a Biology major, which required not only labs in biology, but also chemistry. Both of these labs necessitated measuring things (powders, liquids, acids that had the ability to eat my skin, which I inevitably spilled on me) out in 0.10 milligram increments and weigh them out perfectly. Even the memory of such horrors makes me squirmy.

5. Victoria’s Secret commercials. Basically, the whole unrealistic idea of what a woman’s body is supposed to look like irks me beyond belief. I love my body the way it is (truly, I believe it’s a beautiful creation), and I hate, hate, hate that these commercials are trying to make me feel insecure with my body in an effort to make money. It’s disgusting, and I refuse to shop at Victoria’s Secret for this very reason.

5. Beef jerky.

To THAT couple…

The one with the girl who looks like she’s 12 years old. Could you please make it clear in which way I am supposed to be disturbed by your relationship with the older man you’re with?

Am I supposed to be grossed out by the fact that you’re behaving like you’re in middle school, while your boyfriend looks like he probably has kids your age? Am I supposed to feel bad for you and your obvious daddy issues? Or am I supposed to be bothered by your inappropriate Miley Cyrus/Billy Ray Cyrus type father-daughter relationship?

Thanks for your consideration in the matter. Please don’t get back to me, and instead just get find a normal relationship.

Puppy Expectations

Current Macy victim count:

*One tiny stuffed animal belonging to roommate, replaced in hopes that damage would not be noticed. Not sure how likely this is considering animal’s face is torn off and ears are shredded. Macy likes to torture her victims before going for the kill.

*Three de-stuffed toys, which somehow still have entertainment value.

*One leash, torn into three pieces in a span of 15 minutes.

*One pair of leather shoes.

*Multiple plastic bowls, intended to be used as portable water dishes.

*One book tote bag.

*Several attempts on papers, books and notebooks.

Yet, somehow, I fail to be angry at her. This must be love. (Also, I love rawhide bones. Lord bless whoever created them.)

Macy, during the bloodshed:

I mean, seriously, could you be angry at this face?

A Gratitude Post

I am grateful for pain. I am grateful for the changes it brings. (I may be a masochist, I realize.)

I am grateful for being broken open, and thus becoming open to the universe.

I am grateful for living, and that exhilarating feeling that lets me know I’m alive.

I am grateful for She & Him.

I am grateful for changes, as much as I fight them. They force me to grow, and help me achieve my life’s purpose.

I am grateful for books, and for finding the perfect passage that speaks to me and helps me see a new perspective on life.

I am grateful for movies. Stand and Deliver and Mr. Holland’s Opus especially right now. I’ll probably explain this later, if it is warranted.

I am grateful for ridiculous humor and hysterical puns. Cakewrecks supplies this to me daily (except on Saturdays), and I am happy.

I am grateful for spell check. There used to be a time where I could spell any word. That time is no more.

I am NOT grateful for my 9th week of mono. Anytime this virus wants to go away would be appreciated.

Random photos that bring me happiness:

Boulder circa 2007…Say what you will about Boulder (aka People’s Republic of Boulder), but I will always love it for its natural beauty.

Waldport, Oregon

I love this photo. Courtesy of my dad. This will definitely be going up in my apartment when I move this summer. (Speaking of, I can’t wait for that….although starting a new chapter in life scares the crap out of me.)

La Vida

Life. It’s crazy.

My life at the present moment looks almost nothing like the life I was living in November. Like I said, it’s crazy.

Possibly one of the biggest changes in my life took place last week – one week ago almost down to the minute, actually. Her name is Macy and she came from the Denver Dumb Friends League. She tests my patience every single day, making me wonder what in the world I was thinking 1. getting a dog and 2. getting a puppy.

But then she rests her head on my lap like she did when we first met and I’m mush again.

I’m a sucker for a dreaming dog.

Then she starts running in her sleep, and it’s just adorable. And she has huge paws.

So not only did I get a dog, a puppy, but also an apparently huge dog. Let’s look at those paws again.

Crap.

But despite all this, and the stress that comes with having a new puppy, I still have a feeling that this is right and adopting her was the absolute right thing to do.

Another change: I’m leaving my title of “student” soon and will be entering the title of “teacher” within a couple months. To say this causes me some anxiety is an understatement. I have an interview on Thursday and another one the following Thursday.

It’s crazy, this thing, life.